How Much Is TOO Much?

Whether your grandchildren live with you, come to visit often or only see you a few times a year... the question is bound to come up - especially on birthdays, graduations and around the holidays.

Yes, the temptation to spoil your grandchildren is hard to resist.

Just make reasonably sure that If you are shopping from a child's wish-list that it's going to meet with Mom's and Dad's approval, as well. Check the content of videos, computer games or CD's before giving them as gifts, or you might be sending a message to the grandkids that it's fine NOT to follow the rules. "...Grandma thinks it's OK!" If you fondly remember your daughter's first makeup in fifth grade, but your son-in-law has made it clear that makeup for your teenage granddaughter is not acceptable - steer clear of the conflict.

Your opinions count, but...
Parent's have the right to set up arbitrary rules based on their values. You can disagree, but overriding them creates a problem for everyone -- including the grandchild who respects you both.

Don't allow yourself to be put in the middle...
...by your grandchild or by your own need to make your grandchild's wishes come true.

Allowing yourself to be used as a means to get something that is on the "NO" list is encouraging this behavior.

Gifts that clearly say that you disagree with parental decisions will spoil both the grandchild and your relationship with your child and son or daughter-in-law.

Any time you are in doubt
Just remember back to when you were the parent. The things that got you upset are sure to have that effect on your adult child - for the same reasons.

So how much is too much? It's not really a matter of quantity. If your purpose is to please both the parents and the grandchild - your gifts will be perfect every time!

Other Web sites of Interest:

Generations of Giving

Conflicts w/Grandparents

Grandboomers