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Forget the Online Nanny Programs...
Moms & Dads Are Watching Their Kids Online

A recent "Dear Abby" column carried a complaint by a thirteen year old girl who was upset that her parents had checked her Internet use and found that she had been exchanging pictures with boys that she had met online.

Abby responded that her parents were doing their job by watching out for her. That feeling is echoed by most parents. Concerned about child predators and vast amounts of questionable content on the Internet, more than 95 percent of America’s parents say they monitor their children’s online activities according to a report from The Conference Board.

Parents are not only checking on what their kids are doing, but three out of four parents say they are in the room when their children go online.

Porn & Predators
While there were several reasons given for monitoring Internet usage among children, the top concern most frequently voiced by parents was exposure to inappropriate content. Also cited as a major reason for monitoring activities: fear of child predators online.

“The fear of their children being exposed to inappropriate content and child predators while online is prompting nearly all parents to monitor their children’s Internet activities,” says Lynn Franco, Director of The Conference Board’s Consumer Research Center. “But, given the seriousness of these concerns, parents are more likely to personally monitor their children than rely on technology to safeguard them.”

Nanny Is Not Enough
Parents are finding that programs on the computer protect their children often block sites they need for school work or don't block sites that are set up to lure kids in and get around the blocks. If the computer is shared by the whole family, a nanny program can be a nuisance to the adults. Most parents find that supervising kids works best when it's a 'hands on' affair.

Most homes with children locate personal computers in the family/living area or den, which makes keeping an eye on computer use more natural. Besides just watching out for danger, more than a third of parents manually check the Web browser history. Fewer use blocking software or rely on their ISP service to monitor their child’s activities.

“It is not surprising that most parents monitor their children’s use of the Web to some degree,” says David Stark, TNS’ Privacy Officer for North America. “Only one-quarter of adult Internet users say they trust the Internet and many are concerned about the safety of their own personal information when doing various activities online.”

Learning at Your Fingertips
In America, close to 40 percent of households who use the Internet have children under the age of 18, and nearly 3 out of 5 of these children access the Internet from home.

Pre-schoolers go online to play, but as soon as children enter first grade learning and school assignments are included in the mix. Among kids aged 6-12, close to three-quarters log on to complete school assignments, but an even greater proportion log on for fun. By the time they are teenagers, school-related surfing has become the top Internet activity, though the pursuit of fun remains high on the list.

Keeping In Touch
Internet Messaging (IM) is the online version of mobile phone text messaging -- and is just as popular with teenagers. This survey found that three out of every four teens communicate via e-mail and about 63 percent via IM. Other surveys give even higher numbers. Teens and music are an unbreakable combination and the Internet is no exception to this. Music downloading and burning their own CDs of favorite songs is a common activity among teenagers.

Time Off For Exercise and Sharing
Parents do more than keep an eye on what is going on with their kids online. More than 75 percent of parents in America limit the amount of time that kids are at the computer. This falls into the same category as limiting the use of the phone or TV. The reasons for calling a time out on computer use included a desire for their child to engage in some physical activity. With the growing epidemic of obesity in America, it makes sense to have a limit to the hours spent at a computer screen or in front of the TV.

Some parents are not sure that sitting in front of a computer screen for hours on end is good for kids even without the fear of weight problems and limit the exposure because of health concerns. Others impose limits so that the rest of the household can use the computer.

How Do They Manage?
It's fine to say that you should watch your teens activity or limit their use of the computer, but most parents of teens also know that it's a bit difficult to impose restrictions on young adults without causing friction in the home.

Start out by discussing what is an appropriate place to visit online. Explain the realities of the Internet gently, but make it clear. Treat it as if it were a discussion on not touching the oven or looking both ways before you cross the street. The Internet and other surfers are not evil and dangerous, just as cars are not evil and dangerous... unless you get hit by one. There are safety rules everywhere in life and the Internet's 'information highway' is no exception.

Set guidelines for the amount of time allowed online -- and stick to them. Consistency is important. If the rules are breakable, they will be broken. However, if there is no room for compromise, it will turn into a power struggle. Be firm, but don't be rigid. If a big assignment is due, you can discuss time management for future assignments and work out a compromise schedule for that exception. Just make it clear that it is a one time school related exception and should not be a regular occurrence. If it does become a regular event, it's time to stick to your guns and let the consequences of poor planning hit home. Going into school with an unfinished assignment is a lot less painful than going through life with no time management skills!

Having the computer in a family area makes being watchful less obvious and less intrusive. If the computer is located in your child's room, you need to invade their personal space to keep an eye on their online activities...not a welcome idea. The other benefit of having the computer in a living room or den is that it allows your child to discuss what they are finding online and actually can improve communication between you and improve their learning ability.

University at Buffalo researcher Douglas H. Clements, Ph.D., an internationally renowned expert on educational technologies and early childhood education advises, "Kids are not going to get into writing a better composition without an audience, someone talking to them and challenging them to take it to a deeper level," Clements adds. "That's the role parents can play regardless of how much they know about electronics."

About This Survey:
The Consumer Internet Barometer is based on a quarterly survey of 10,000 households. A unique sample is surveyed each quarter. Return rates average 70 percent, which ensures highly representative data. Data is weighted as well to reflect the latest U.S. household demographic information. The latest survey, cited in this article, was conducted during the third quarter of 2004.

Source: Newswise