Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships
strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show
respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms
a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support.
are seven power skills that will help you form stronger alliances
and bring more closeness, authenticity and trust to your relationships.
1. Relax Optimistically
If you are
comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around you.
If you appear nervous, others will sense it and withdraw. If you
are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if you've
rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most
powerful builder of rapport. Communicating with relaxed optimism,
energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting
goes beyond hearing words and messages; it connects us emotionally
with our communication partner. Listen to what the person is not
saying as well as to what he or she is saying. Focus intently
and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words.
with your eyes and heart. Notice facial expressions and body postures,
but see beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range
of emotions conveyed by tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Discern
what the person wants you to hear and also what they want you
the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic
is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your
opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes as you would want them
to treat your mistakes. Let the individual know that you are concerned
with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person.
Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement
in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen
the bond of trust.
and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person's
moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ
in shades of meaning, intensity, and impact. What did you learn
when listening deeply to the other individual? Reflect your interpretation
of the person's message back to them. Validate your understanding
of their message.
the person for the wisdom and insights they've shared with you.
This shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the
individual. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. If
you consider in advance the impact of your emotions and words,
you will create a positive impact on your relationships.
synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions
will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships
require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.
mature, the needs and values of the individuals and relationship
will change. Career relationships will require the flexibility
to meet changing schedules and new project goals. Cooperative
actions provide synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are
part of the give and take that empowers strong, enduring relationships.
means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your
values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts
that create false appearances and false security.
When you act
authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You say
what you will do, and do what you say. Ask for what you want in
all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will
tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also.
Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect.
Look for and
accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge
the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by
expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions.
If you let someone know that they are valuable and special, they
will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words
and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship.
to acknowledge your most important relationship: the relationship
with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities, and put those qualities
into action. You cannot form a stronger relationship with others
than you have with yourself. You will attract the qualities in
others that are already within you.
What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships
I desire? What is one action I could take today that would empower
my current relationships?
all the qualities or behaviors that you desire for your relationships.
Select the power skills that will attract those qualities. Keep
a journal of the actions you take and the progress you make. By
turning these skills into lifelong habits, you will build relationships
that are healthy, strong and mutually rewarding.
Copyright Steve Brunkhorst.
Steve Brunkhorst, ALMA
Steve is a life success coach, and the creator of Achieve! 60-Second
Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories,
motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve
more in your career and personal life.
see in Home Life -> Want a Successful Marriage? | Marriage
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