When It Comes to Engagements
Manners Still Matter?
marriage proposals modernizing into an "anything goes"
mentality, long-standing proposal customs are often considered
optional, adding confusion to what's considered proper when
it comes to proposing.
In fact, a proposal survey conducted by Korbel Champagne Cellars revealed that 68 percent of Americans agree that there's no "right" way to propose.
Should you propose on bended knee? Ask her parents first? And what about the ring? Should you have one ready, or have your intended help pick it out?
Korbel and etiquette expert Peter Post weigh in on some of today's most-discussed proposal etiquette issues:
Meet the Parents
This is a common question and an area where the rules have slightly changed. The concept of asking your intended's parents' permission to wed may seem old-fashioned, but the modern equivalent isn't - discussing your plans and intentions with your future in-laws is still a sign of respect.
Even in this day and age when people delay marriage into their 30's, are self-upporting, and well into their careers -- it is still a nice gesture to include the parents of your intended and will certainly create a stronger bond between you and your future in-laws!
Depending on your financial situation, or how well you know their taste in jewelry, you may pick out an engagement ring before you pop the question. If money is a concern, or you would rather wait to have their input, then go ahead without the ring.
If you still feel uncomfortable about showing up empty-handed, consider presenting a family heirloom or a symbolic ring with your proposal together with a firm appointment in the near future at a local jewelers.
On Bended Knee
Once considered a sign of servitude to the lover, this tradition dates back to the days of knights and chivalry and continues to evoke romance today. But if you think you'll be weak at the knees when proposing, pick another pose that's comfortable for you.
Decide on what your intended will find sentimental and memorable and incorporate meaningful gestures - such as asking for her hand at her favorite restaurant. Although it would make it memorable, your proposal doesn't necessarily have to be over the top with a skywriter, in front of an audience, or a marching band -- as long as it comes the heart.
For more information on Korbel Champagnes and Perfect Proposals www.korbel.com.
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