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The Roasted Retirement

Retirement RoastsRetirement roasts can be as simple (and funny!) or sophisticated as you please.

The following ideas serve only as a jumping-off point, and can be incorporated either into a casual get-together or a full blown Hollywood production.

Some suggestions may take some advance planning, while others can be off-the-cuff affairs, depending how comfortable guests are with the format.

The main objective: extending invitations to good friends who you know can give the guest of honor a good-natured ribbing:

  • First, prepare a regal throne. A wheelchair, rocking chair or (if you really want to push your luck a portable potty will do fine), along with an old shawl to place gently on the 'frail' shoulders of the guest of honor.

  • Have each guest to suggest a post-retirement activity, like "Learn how to properly program that new digital camera, microwave, VCR, etc."

  • Get a picture of the retiree and have it blown up and mounted as a life-size cut out. Play a game of Pin-The-Tie On... or Pin the Corsage On... You might want to have a camera ready for this one.

  • Surprise them with a "This is Your Life" Party.

  • If it's an office party, have someone skilled in PowerPoint create a forecast of what the retiree's life will be like post-retirement. Use pie charts with percentages of what the guest of honor will do with all that free time.

  • Or, ask each guest to write down a suggestion for a leisure-time activity, i.e., watch a lot of CNN, or catch up on those Bay Watch reruns.

  • And don't forget the old standby: ask guests to bring plenty of gag gifts like hemorrhoid creme, denture adhesive, or a gift subscription to Modern Maturity.

  • When all is said and done be sure to have a oversized card (or you can cover an entire wall with a large sheet of paper) for guests to write down their final comments on their departure. By this time, hopefully they will be able to express something heartfelt. But whether continuing to crack wise, or wishing sincere sentiments, the result remains the same: a fond memory and a truly wonderful keepsake.

also see -> 60th birthday party ideas | 70th birthday party ideas

More about retirement roasts around the Web:

31 of the best retirement jokes

Quotations for Retirement


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